03.08.2015. www.delfi.lv (LV), www.lsm.lv (RUS)

Since the very beginning, even since the students’ Maidan massacre in Kiev, I knew: “That should be written down! Tragic, but also fateful events are rapidly developing, the Ukrainian live history is created, therefore, everything should be fixed, any detail, otherwise later on they may be forgotten under the layer of more recent happenings which are saturating not only every day, but also every hour”.

I still remember that day, the excited faces of friends who had already heard the news: Terrible things are done in Kiev!

Nothing can be said, heart is just freezing, and fists are clenching. And the first thought coming to mind, is: “That is not Ukrainian “handwriting”, many incomprehensible things have been done during the period of this government, but not such things!!! Something is wrong here. That could not be done without Russia’s involvement”. The following happenings proved that it had been true. Our life changed since that day. And for ever. We will never be the same as previously, and it is not too bad in many aspects, but the price of that – thousands of lives of the best, young, active, responsible, full of energy and wish to live with dignity Ukrainian patriots.

Day after day flew away filled with concern and expectations, grief and joy, new findings and new activities (Donetsk Euro-Maidan, collecting of funds in support of Kiev Euro-Maidan, talks with people who often showed lack of understanding of the ongoing events, explanations, etc.). To write anything down… Later on, when it’s all over, I will write it down… But it is not all over yet, it still continues at this moment, already for the second year. But something that happened yesterday however urged me to start writing.

It was a calm eve of July. Calm in the very direct meaning of this concept: mild setting sun, no our hot steppe’s wind, empty city centre (many citizens had left for the free part of Ukraine), and no shooting, which was quite strange because the Donetsk residents had already become used to the noise of cannonade. And suddenly the silence was slashed by a desperate girl’s scream: “It’s my Ukraine! It’s my! It’s my Ukraine!!! You won’t kill it all the same, damn combatants! It’s my Ukraine!”

I was both joyful (“Look, a twin soul is very close to me!”) and concerned about her (“Dear girl, take care, please, they can kill you, they have already killed many people easily”). I understood very well her despair, for we had been living under the conditions of occupation for two years. Ban on everything Ukrainian – symbols, language, television and press; as well as arrests, missing people, killing on the spot without trial and investigation; the front line running through the outskirts of Donetsk, fighting among various groups of warriors in the very Donetsk, firing on the city centre and peaceful residents by the combatants in order to create a tragic picture for Russian mass media with blaming the Ukrainian Armed Forces for the offence. The city was full of criminals, released from prisons (Russian ones and those on the occupied territory) in exchange for promise to fight on “DPR” (“Donetsk People’s Republic”) side, local fighters, Russian military and supporters of Kadirov. The supporters of Kadirov had appeared in the city even in may 2014, and they participated in the capture of Donetsk Airport. Tanks and infantry carriers regularly move along the streets. In a word, it’s a nightmare which would not end.

The girl’s shout “My Ukraine!” had shattered the frozen atmosphere for some time. Then a man’s angry voice was heard: “OK, OK, it’s yours. Please, somebody shut her up. We can’t sleep”. The frozen space of backyard gradually began to stir; a bunch of schoolchildren appeared looking for the “silly shouting girl”, and, having found her, they began to take videos on their phones; some little beggarly man began to call somebody on phone, rapidly describing the ongoing events and mentioning the address. I hope that everything was all right with the girl, at least I believe so.

Giving away information on the others is very popular in the “young Republic”. Neighbours are ratted out by their neighbours, passers-by – “watchful citizens” – are ratting away the persons seemingly suspicious for them. Since only accredited journalists have the right to take photographs in “DPR”, walking with a camera in hands has become risky. Once I experienced that myself. One day, in autumn (2014), I was walking down the city central boulevard, taking pictures of flowers, sky, appearing sights (there are many beautiful places in Donetsk), and, of course, fixing also the ongoing changes. And suddenly I saw a heavy man of the age of pensioner, standing right in the middle of a road crossing (the city was quite empty, there were nearly no cars there) and looking with hostility right in my face. “What are you doing?!” – he was quite impolitely shouting on me. And next, addressing the few passers-by: “Look, she is the target identifier. Now she will transmit the data of our location, and they will start firing on us”.

I was aware that I had to leave accurately and rapidly. Just to show him my true intention, I took some more pictures of flower, sky, and, having passed him, I went away down the boulevard, and it was luck that he physically was not capable of following me.

And not long ago, one of my friends was detained by the “DPR” Police on a report by some “responsible citizen” for the similarly suspicious taking pictures of flowers. He was lucky that time – they looked through all the pictures, made sure that they were really flowers there and let him go. So, we are living under the conditions similar to those during the period of Stalinist repressions.

By the way, the ban on taking photographs appeared last summer (2014), when Russian troops, headed by Girkin, had entered Donetsk and just started firing on the city centre, telling people that the firing was conducted by Ukraine’s Armed Forces. Some people gladly believed them and became infuriated toward Ukraine. The others were neither readily believing, nor disproving, but they were taking photos of explosion sites, analysing the character of damages, trajectory of shells, strength of blast, etc. With the help of precise calculations, they identified the place where the shooting weapons had been located and where Ukrainian Armed Forces’ units could by no means be situated. That is, the lies were refuted, the information became available, and those who had initially believed in Ukraine’s meanness, began to doubt it. And, in order not to fail in that untruthful information war, the combatants simply banned everybody, except the accredited by themselves journalists, from taking photographs of anything. At that period, it was really impossible for anybody to go out with a camera in hand.

Of course, it is not just lack of freedom, but a constant threat of being arrested, beaten, killed, which is very tiresome, and it may lead to the cry of desperation: “It’s my Ukraine!” But we however have to summon our endurance, patience, go through these hardships and await liberation.

But, as it turned out, the threat of being arrested has become tiresome also for the very combatants. One of the terrorists who had participated even in the occupation of Slavyansk, Alexander Zhukovsky (he is from Saint-Petersburg) writes on his Facebook page as follows: “We are discussing the role of basements in the development of statehood of the young Republic of New Russia” – Chalenko has defined it brilliantly.

I think that the “basement” as a specific phenomenon surely will be included in the history of the Donbas war. Of course, that is both funny and serious. Boris Borisov is still locked in basement, besides, exclusively for his words, for criticism. And, honestly speaking, I am also already tired of constantly balancing on the verge of basement.

Recently the Donetsk basements have been intensively filled again, some regular wave of cleaning has started. Even some funny things have happened. Few days ago, one of the units in Donetsk was tasked with sending of one of the fighter groups down in the basement. The guys had already started to develop the group (carrying out complex operational activities), and then suddenly they received an order to interrupt implementation of the plan. But some of the activities had already been initiated and some of the measures taken. As the result, the guys who were simply executing the order, got themselves under investigation for the very measures taken by them, and now they are facing threat of being locked away in a basement…

Having read this, I remembered the words of one of my acquaintances seemingly supporting Ukraine, but in the course of time she has become somehow loyal to the combatants: “What of it! He has been jailed in a basement. But they have released him yet. Who hasn’t been locked up nowadays?”

The nightmare still goes on…

Veronica

This article is the first one in the series “Letters from Donetsk”, within which some Donetsk resident (her real name is not disclosed because of security considerations) shares her on-scene views on the military conflict ongoing in Ukraine.